Tag: tension

Years and years (and years) ago, downtown Salt Lake City, I was trying my best to sell my first book. I’ve always had a great support system of friends and family, so the first sales come easy. Getting strangers to read my books though, that’s the nightmare. You mean, I did all this work, wrote this darn thing, thought through every comma, em dash, period, and parenthetical, and now I have to talk to people? My actual hell. 

Trevor Hale—the one and only—had a booth at Craft Lake City and was selling the first printing of tulip. All of my communities showed up; hardcore kids, karate dudes, work pals, youth militias, and friends I’ve known since kindergarten. As always, Trevor had tons of cool stuff to sell. Honestly, it was just a joy to sit and talk shit with him—many iced coffee were had. I was having a great freaking time. And then, out of the mist, rolls in a stranger. This was long before techbros were a common nuisance, but this gentleman certainly had proto-chud vibes. 

He picked up tulip and demanded an elevator pitch. I tried my best. I’m still no good at it. I don’t know what my books are about—weirdos doing weird things! He pointed out that the plot sounded a lot like a Will Ferrell movie. I spiralled. Shit, did I rip off some crud movie and not realize it? I did not. He then opened the book to a random page and read out loud. He was clearly doing a performance. For who? Definitely not me. In the end, he didn’t purchase a copy. I’m not sure if this guy sucked. Who’s to say? I wish him tons of luck with his speculative investment portfolio. 

Point being, people make me nervous. It might be a cliché that writers are nervous people, but I’m at least a bit of anecdotal proof. My general inclination is to not trust writers that are sure of themselves, unless they’re poets—poets can do whatever they want. A pretty silly tension arises: wanting to write a breakout novel vs. never wanting to be talked to or looked at. I have a new project I’m working on that I’m very excited about, so over the next few months you might see me working through that tension here. I doubt I’ll ever be able to deliver a great elevator pitch, but hopefully I can connect with some folks interested in my weirdos.